I have been thinking lately about the things that cause me stress in my life. There have been a lot lately. But I can't thank God enough for those stresses because they are stresses that I can handle. I looked at Grace yesterday and thought How am I worthy to have such a blessing as her? I look at Collin's tests and think---Six months from now my son would have had colon cancer. How can God bless us so much, that Dr. Ho scoped a 22 year old, "just to be safe". God saved my son's life. I was lying awake last night thinking, God saved my son and my sins helped kill His son. How can He bless me so much when I am so unworthy. I lack complete faith, I lack complete trust, I lack complete obedience, I lack patience. I am unworthy. He has blessed me with three Christian children who put Him first in their homes and their lives. How can I thank God any more for this? He gave us the most beautiful little girl to love and cherish and spoil. How were we chosen for Grace to be ours? I cannot thank God enough. I have a husband who daily tells me that he loves me and shows me that he loves me. I cannot thank God enough for him. I'm so sorry that I complain about the small stresses in my life when others are going through hard stresses of losing a loved one. I have no right to complain or feel sorry for myself. God is an Awesome God and He has shown me over and over again that He is in control of my life and my loved ones lives. Throughout my life, I will never be able to thank Him enough. I can only try with my service, love, and devotion to Him.
My life, my love, I give to Thee,
Thou Lamb of God who died for me;
Oh, may I ever faithful be,
I'll live for Him who died for me,
How happy then my life shall be!
I'll live for Him who died for me,
O Thou who died on Calvary,
To save my soul and make me free,
That I may ever live for Thee
My Savior and my God!!!
